Are Your Emotions in the Driver’s Seat?

At a recent birthday party, my friend’s 7-year-old daughter informed me, with great seriousness, that she wants to be a "roller coaster tester" when she grows up.

When I asked why, she shrugged and said: "Because it feels exciting, but also terrifying."

Honestly? That might be the most accurate description of adult decision-making I’ve ever heard.

One of my favorite therapists-who-I’ve-never-met, Dr. Arianna Brandolini, said this:

"Emotions are like children. You don't want them driving your car because they will crash it. You don't want to shove them in the trunk because they might die. You want them in the back seat where they can be seen and heard and attended to, but they're not in control of anything."

I love this metaphor —not because it’s clever (though it is), but because it gets something exactly right: You’re not supposed to suppress emotion. You’re supposed to give it the right seat. Emotions are part of the process. They just shouldn’t be steering.

This is where people often get mixed up. We tend to treat gut feel like it’s just a loud emotion. But gut feel isn’t just emotion. It’s more layered, more nuanced. It’s your lived experience, subconscious pattern recognition, memory, and yes, your emotions, all rolled into a kind of internal executive summary.

And unlike emotion, gut feel doesn’t shout. It whispers. Quietly, calmly, confidently.

Think of it like mistaking a Hallmark-movie crush for a long-term relationship. Just because something gives you butterflies doesn’t mean it belongs in your long-term plan. (Rachel from Friends learned this the hard way with Paolo. Twice.)

So, how do you tell them apart?

You start by letting your emotions ride along, but not run the show. You acknowledge them. Thank them for their input. And then you let the rest of you—your logic, your experience, your insight—weigh in, too.

Here’s the trick I use when I’m uncertain: I ask, “Am I acting from clarity… or from a feeling I haven’t named yet? If I were completely calm, would I still make the same decision?”

If the answer is yes, it’s probably gut feel. If the answer is no, it might just be emotion trying to take the front seat.

And to be clear: emotion should be in the car. It adds color, and energy. But you want it safely buckled in the back, not yelling “FLOOR IT” from the dashboard.

Edge Thought of the Week

This week, think about a recent moment when you said you were “trusting your gut.” Now be honest: Was that really your gut—or were you reacting to a strong, persuasive emotion?

And the next time you feel urgency pushing you toward a decision, give it 24 hours. If it’s truly your gut, the clarity will remain. If it was just emotion? The urgency will fade, like all sugar highs do.

Let your gut be your compass. Let your emotions come along for the ride. Just don’t give them the keys.

Until next time,

Laura

PS: If this post made you nod, smile, or mentally underline something… you’ll probably love the book behind it. You Already Know: The Science of Mastering Your Intuition comes out July 29 (and it’s available for pre-order now). It’s for anyone who wants to make wiser, faster, more confident decisions.