The Power of Bragging? Why Owning Our Achievements Can Change Perceptions
I recently had the opportunity to deliver a program in Oakland alongside Dr. Christie Chung. The experience was a blend of deep reflection, candid conversations, and surprising insights into how we perceive ourselves – especially when it comes to self-promotion. In a culture that often labels self-praise as arrogance, this workshop was a space where participants could reimagine their narratives and explore the nuanced art of flipping perceptions.
One of the activities I led revolved around bragging – yes, bragging. I asked participants to take two minutes to talk about themselves as if they were their own biggest fan. Their challenge was to imagine their mother or best friend was the one sharing these accolades, amplifying every achievement with unabashed pride. But there was a twist. Their partner had to jot down three negative adjectives that came to mind about the “braggart,” such as “arrogant” or “self-absorbed,” or “someone needs a reality check.”
What always surprises me about this exercise is how much laughter and joy fill the room. Initially, people are reluctant, almost shrinking away from the concept of bragging. Yet, as they lean into it, they begin to experience a release – a kind of permission to be proud of themselves. It becomes apparent just how much we crave acknowledgment, even if it's simply from ourselves.
Here are three insights I gathered from this experience and why I think we all need a little more practice in bragging better:
Bragging can be fun (and liberating): Society often discourages self-praise, and we internalize this so deeply that even a structured activity around bragging feels uncomfortable at first. But once we let go of that “I must be humble” voice in our head, there's an outpouring of laughter and joy. By giving ourselves permission to share our stories and celebrate our achievements, we’re reminded of our own worth and how powerful it is to own it. Why do we treat bragging like some kind of high-risk activity?
Compliments are uncontainable: Even though partners were instructed to silently list three negative adjectives, they couldn’t help but interject with affirmations. I heard people say, “Wow, that’s amazing!” or “You’re so impressive!” It’s a reminder that, while we may fear others will judge us for self-promotion, the reality is most people actually want to cheer us on and are sometimes even inspired by our accomplishments. This creates a potent opportunity to flip perceptions, showing that what might appear as “bragging” can actually foster admiration and connection. Next time you’re feeling self-doubt, remember: the world is full of closet cheerleaders waiting to hype you up.
The power of specificity: When people bragged about themselves, they tended to default to generalities – “I’m a great parent,” or “I’m a dedicated employee.” But we miss out on an opportunity to make our stories relatable and memorable when we don’t get specific. For example, "I’m such a good parent I once spent an entire Saturday helping with a science project that involved 40 pounds of glitter and the dog.” Or, “I’m such a dedicated employee, I once attended a Zoom meeting in the ER.”
Having a few of these concrete examples in your back pocket can be a game-changer. When someone asks, “So, tell me about yourself,” pull out a vivid story that adds depth and context to who you are. You’ll be surprised at how much more engaging—and memorable—you’ll be. Watch how people’s perceptions shift when you move from vague claims to vivid details.
This exercise is a reminder that being proud of ourselves – and sharing that pride with others – doesn’t need to be something we shy away from. Own your story, own your accomplishments, and don’t be afraid to go full-on hype mode every now and then. Speak up about your achievements and inspire others by the example of your life.