Is it possible that James was experimenting? Experimentation takes hard work and pain, and maybe the pay off isn't what he had hoped for, but at least he got an answer that he can cross 'completing Ironman' off his list as that elusive something.
Also, for some folks, they really maybe do just do it for the applause; maybe because they didn't get enough positive reinforcement or attention in their childhoods. And that is just the curse, because they have no idea what energizes them because they have no infrastructure for reflections or self awareness.
Talitha, I love the way you framed this. You're right, experimentation IS hard work. And sometimes the value of an experience is simply learning, “Okay, this isn’t my song.” That’s a win, too. And yes, for many people, the search for applause can get tangled up with the search for meaning. Especially if, early on, they weren’t given the space or tools to figure out what actually energizes them. It’s not a curse so much as a reminder: if you don't have a clear map, you have to get comfortable exploring what lights you up. Thanks for sharing such a thoughtful comment.
I enjoyed this article, and I've had a similar (albeit less intense) experience as your friend James.
Last summer I walked almost 200 miles of the Camino de Santiago. And when I got to the final destination, I actually felt *disappointed* that the journey was over.
That trip helped me realize that so many of the meaningful parts in life is about making meaning from the journey, not just the end goal.
Katherine, thank you for sharing this. That’s exactly what I was trying to capture in the article. We’re taught to chase milestones, but it’s often the quieter, less celebrated moments that shape us most.
That resonated deeply, ouch! However, I wanted to ask about a different twist - what if you're doing something because you're trying to escape something you hate or fear? I think there's a lot of energy in that, that sometimes pushes us to achieve incredible things. And in some ways, that may be easier (what a paradox!) than finding what you love.
A specific example I have in mind are FIRE folks, there are stories where people achieve some level of "Financial Freedom" and they don't have to work ever again. And... for some it's incredible, but some are apparently left with that feeling of "huh? is that IT?".
I'd be curious to read if you have any thoughts on that :)
Such a thoughtful twist, Weronika. You’re right, sometimes we’re not chasing something we love. We’re running from something we can’t stand or fear. And that can absolutely fuel progress. There’s even research showing we’re often more motivated by avoiding pain than by seeking pleasure. But that kind of fuel tends to burn out if there’s nothing waiting on the other side. What happens when you finally escape the thing you hated?
That’s the tension I see in a lot of FIRE stories. People sprint toward financial freedom, and then hit a wall. No job, no stress, and still, they feel lost. Because escaping isn’t the same as choosing. It gets you away, but it doesn’t always take you somewhere fulfilling.
So yes, escape can be the beginning. But at some point, it helps to ask: Now that I’m free, what do I actually want to run toward? Something that matters to me.
Is it possible that James was experimenting? Experimentation takes hard work and pain, and maybe the pay off isn't what he had hoped for, but at least he got an answer that he can cross 'completing Ironman' off his list as that elusive something.
Also, for some folks, they really maybe do just do it for the applause; maybe because they didn't get enough positive reinforcement or attention in their childhoods. And that is just the curse, because they have no idea what energizes them because they have no infrastructure for reflections or self awareness.
Talitha, I love the way you framed this. You're right, experimentation IS hard work. And sometimes the value of an experience is simply learning, “Okay, this isn’t my song.” That’s a win, too. And yes, for many people, the search for applause can get tangled up with the search for meaning. Especially if, early on, they weren’t given the space or tools to figure out what actually energizes them. It’s not a curse so much as a reminder: if you don't have a clear map, you have to get comfortable exploring what lights you up. Thanks for sharing such a thoughtful comment.
I enjoyed this article, and I've had a similar (albeit less intense) experience as your friend James.
Last summer I walked almost 200 miles of the Camino de Santiago. And when I got to the final destination, I actually felt *disappointed* that the journey was over.
That trip helped me realize that so many of the meaningful parts in life is about making meaning from the journey, not just the end goal.
Katherine, thank you for sharing this. That’s exactly what I was trying to capture in the article. We’re taught to chase milestones, but it’s often the quieter, less celebrated moments that shape us most.
That resonated deeply, ouch! However, I wanted to ask about a different twist - what if you're doing something because you're trying to escape something you hate or fear? I think there's a lot of energy in that, that sometimes pushes us to achieve incredible things. And in some ways, that may be easier (what a paradox!) than finding what you love.
A specific example I have in mind are FIRE folks, there are stories where people achieve some level of "Financial Freedom" and they don't have to work ever again. And... for some it's incredible, but some are apparently left with that feeling of "huh? is that IT?".
I'd be curious to read if you have any thoughts on that :)
Such a thoughtful twist, Weronika. You’re right, sometimes we’re not chasing something we love. We’re running from something we can’t stand or fear. And that can absolutely fuel progress. There’s even research showing we’re often more motivated by avoiding pain than by seeking pleasure. But that kind of fuel tends to burn out if there’s nothing waiting on the other side. What happens when you finally escape the thing you hated?
That’s the tension I see in a lot of FIRE stories. People sprint toward financial freedom, and then hit a wall. No job, no stress, and still, they feel lost. Because escaping isn’t the same as choosing. It gets you away, but it doesn’t always take you somewhere fulfilling.
So yes, escape can be the beginning. But at some point, it helps to ask: Now that I’m free, what do I actually want to run toward? Something that matters to me.